Ways To Help Set Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are one of the most important aspects of self-care. When we establish healthy boundaries, we teach others what we are comfortable with & what works well for us, ensuring the relationships in our lives are happy, mutual, and appropriate. Our emotional and physical well-beings are so important, and when our boundaries are crossed or poorly established, we can begin to feel depleted, drained, hurt, & burned out. As we prioritize our boundaries and ensure they are firmly set, we allow our self-esteem to prosper, invite people who are a good match for us into our lives, & let go of those who can’t honor our needs or allow us to embody our best selves.
Establishing healthy boundaries is something we learn to hold more jurisdiction over with age. In my experience, as I grow older and more sure of myself, I find it easier to communicate and set firm boundaries that protect my peace, as well as ensure that I surround myself with people who respect those boundaries. The beautiful thing about boundaries is we can put them in place to protect our peace, while still being polite and honoring the boundaries those around us set as well. We can’t please everybody all the time, and certainly not at the cost of our own peace & happiness, but we can respect their needs while also protecting our own. Establishing and communicating boundaries is no easy task, and can certainly be a work in progress, so don’t fret if you feel like your needs haven’t been clearly communicated as well in past experiences! The key to establishing healthy boundaries is confidence and believing in your worth. Take what you have learned from past experiences, and establish boundaries that ensure you remain happy, healthy, and the best version of you.
Various lived experiences & advice from loved ones over the years have helped me understand the importance of healthy boundaries, as well as the importance of self-advocation. I wanted to share some of my favorite advice when it comes to setting healthy boundaries!
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
Communication is so important in nearly all aspects of our lives, but it is incredibly important when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. Most of the time, it is easy to assume that those around us will think or feel the same things that we do when it comes to making decisions or certain topics. Yet, unfortunately none of us are mind readers, and without communication, we can’t know what another person is thinking or feeling. When we have strong communication with others, it leaves little room for misunderstandings that could lead to some boundaries being crossed.
Use “I” Statements
This advice is one of the best tips I have received in terms of setting healthy boundaries. When we use “I” statements instead of saying “you” when establishing & communicating our boundaries to somebody else, we set an important tone. Using “I” statements allows the other person to understand these boundaries are about you and your needs and not about who they are or their behaviors. It also establishes a sense of confidence. Confidence is such an imperative aspect of establishing healthy boundaries and allows those around you to take those boundaries seriously.
Embrace the Power of “No”
Saying “no” to others can sometimes be one of the most challenging tasks, especially if they are asking a favor or for your help. However, it is so important to prioritize yourself and your needs. If saying “yes” to someone else comes at the cost of your well-being or happiness, don’t be afraid to politely say “no”. Those who value your relationship and care about you and your needs will certainly understand why you had to say “no” & will not take it to heart.
Set a Clear Tone for Others
Clearly communicating your needs & expectations to others in an upfront fashion is really important. Be sure that you are being consistent with your needs, as well as believing in your own self-worth. Your emotional and physical well-being is the most important thing, and when setting boundaries, it is so important that those around you understand that. Have confidence in your boundaries and be clear and consistent when putting them in place & communicating your needs to others.
